The Perfection Complex
Growing up, As told by Ginger was a favorite cartoon of mine. Matter-of-fact, any cartoon where the girl had a quirky, unique personality and was sifting her way through life by writing was it for me. I hadn’t realized until now how many shows actually showed characters writing in their diaries (or journals in Doug’s case). Writing has always been therapeutic for me and it’s awesome to see that it helps others as well.
When V thought up this opportunity for me to share my thoughts with our Domestic Queens, I had mixed feelings. Why would anyone want to listen to me? Yes, I still have these thoughts after six published books and my own blog. Fiction is a whole other ball game, but the truth? Why would anyone want to hear about the world as told by me?
We all have these thoughts in some form or fashion. You don’t give your opinion at work. You have an idea for a business or book but are afraid to pursue it. You want to try something new or go somewhere new but don’t want to be disappointed. Guess what all this equals up to? We’re just afraid of not being perfect.
Sounds stupid right? We all know that no one is perfect. It’s like the number one quote in the world. “No one is perfect, except God.” We love to say this and act like we believe it, but we hold ourselves back from any and everything with more excuses about our behavior than the Kardashians. The real reason you won’t try or do something new is because you are afraid to fail, therefore afraid of not being perfect.
There’s this thing call self-fulfilling prophecy that can also be referred to as the power of the tongue. It all starts in your mind. I don’t know who told you that perfection was attainable but you need to know it’s a myth. It can’t happen. Mary the virgin is not your mother. You won’t ever be perfect. You will trip. You will stumble. You will fall. You will fail.
Now that’s we’ve gotten that out the way, we can move on. Here are three very important things to think about when you talk yourself out of doing something you want to do:
Identify why you’re scared
Like really sit down with yourself and have an honest conversation that is not to be repeated to anyone outside of yourself. Are you afraid that if you fail someone close to you will ridicule your attempt at something new? Are you afraid that you don’t have what it takes to do it? Even worse, are you afraid that you’ll succeed and as a result require more from yourself in the future? Whatever it is, figure it out. Get to the root of that thing and decide if it’s really as scary as you’re making it to be. 99.9 percent of the time, you’ll have made up these fears without any help from anyone else. If you do have someone in your life who is discouraging you from growing there’s only one thing to do. As the great lyricist Fabolous once said, “Treat it like its gum in your hair girl, cut it out!”
Identify what happens if you don’t do it
Change is a scary thing. We get some comfortable in our mess, even when it makes us miserable, that the unknown feels like death. Change, however, is inevitable. Think about that relationship you thought would last forever, or that job that you would never give up that you got fired from. The fact that you can think about it now means you lived through it. Change didn’t kill you. You know what will kill you? Regret. If I don’t fight for my dreams, I’ll look up years from now and resent myself. That is one person I don’t want to live with. If I don’t fight for my dreams, I’ll be stuck in corporate America, paying off debt from degrees I don’t use, not being valued for my talents…the list goes on. I want no parts of it. In other words, I have no choice but to make moves.
Pick a side, pick a side
If you are okay with having no ambition and not progressing in your life. That’s fine. Have fun. If you want more and know that you deserve it, stick with that feeling and PUSH. Forget everything else and focus on that feeling. The perfection complex won’t even be a thought you have to deal with when you are out here living your best life and taking your blessings and lessons as they come.
There’s always a possibility that you might fail. More than likely though, if you are called to do what you feel is in your heart, you won’t. But you will crawl. You will walk. You will run. You will fly.