(Photo credit: Autodo )
Friends…how many of us have them??
Our friends are supposed to be our cheerleaders, the ones who lift us up when we’re down, the ones that tell us right from wrong, the ones who bring you balance. Those are GOOD friends…
But sometimes you have those toxic friends who are there to drain you of all the positive energies in your life and bring on unnecessary stress.
I have had my personal share of toxic friendships but luckily I was ready to disassociate myself with those people and RECLAIM MY TIME (Thanks Aunt Maxine!!)
After reading and researching a few articles, I came across the 5 most common signs that your someone in your life is toxic…
1. They lack empathy. No matter what is going on in your life and no matter how traumatic it is, they either discredit your feelings or somehow make that situation all about them.
2. They are always unhappy. Nothing in their life is EVER going well. No matter how happy you are as soon as that one friend comes around the energy in the entire room changes.
3. They are extremely untrustworthy. You can’t trust them to hold water in a glass (something my grandmother says). Your true friends are people that you are supposed to be able to trust with all of your secrets no matter what. Toxic friends are those friends who live for drama CANNOT wait to pass on what you just said to any ear that is willing to listen.
4. Their problems become your problems. This may be one of the more serious ones. When the stress of another’s problems begins to effect your life then it is definitely a problem. Once you take on the weight of someone else’s issues it causes stress in your life and effects the way you operate daily. You become so involved with their lives that other relationships suffer and, in some cases, even your health is effected.
5. And last but definitely not least, They are needy. That one needy friend who gets angry when you’d rather hang with your significant other. If you make plans with other friends and exclude them, they become upset. Even if you need a day just to yourself and that friend just can’t understand why. They are too needy of your time and that’s an issue.
These are just a few signs of a toxic relationships. If you have people in your life who are exhibiting any of these characteristics then it may be time to look into “breaking things off” with them. Removing toxic people from your life can be hard thing to do. TRUST ME, I KNOW THIS ALL TOO WELL, but in order for you to remain sane, you have to get rid of the toxic energy.
1. Start by creating your own space. It’s ok to tell that person, “Hey, I need a little me time right now.” Talk to the person and let them know you need this time for yourself to focus on you and not them and their issues. Do things on your own, make plans with positive, like-minded people, etc.
2. Distance yourself from this person. This may be a little hard to do. If this person is close they have access to you and distancing yourself could be tough. Stop replying to messages, don’t answer calls, don’t answer your door if they do that oh so famous POP-UP.
3. Be very blunt. Let that person or people know that you have NO time for the energy they bring and you don’t want to be around them. Some people can handle the truth better than you just trying to give hints that you don’t want them around. It’s as simple as, “Hey this relationship is causing way more stress than I need. I’m gonna remove you and your energy from my life.” They probably aren’t going to understand at first but hopefully they will eventually.
YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU TO BECOME THE BEST YOU!!!! If this person or people can’t understand that then you are better off without them anyway!