Did your boyfriend pop the question??? Well, let’s get MARRRRIED!!!! WELL, maybe not before preparing first…
I always knew I wanted to be married. I spent time in many relationships playing wife roles, but one day I started speaking the wife title over my life before I even knew when it would happen. I began to profess to the man I was dating at the time that I would be a wife one day. He wasn’t ready but I still began to prepare my mind and study relationships. I would literally say I’m going to be a wife and name all the qualities I wanted my husband and I to possess.
I have some helpful tips that I found necessary before walking down the beach to marry my soul mate. I spent a great deal of time studying marriages and relationships. I would look at the main causes of divorce. I would research and study how to change the behaviors that seem to be the leading cause of divorce. I spent time writing down things I needed to change and things that had to be done before getting married. I hope they help you the way the have helped me.
- Counseling, Counseling, Counseling… This is one of the most important steps that should be taken before you even set a date. This step could possibly make or break the entire relationship. My husband and I used books and study guides. We did this for weeks leading to our big day! Do what works for you and your future love! (The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is great book about communication.)
- Spend some extra time with your family and friends. The first year of your marriage is adjusting to your new role as a wife or as a husband. Your friends will understand if they are true friends, but make sure to enjoy your nights of being single with your family and friends.
- Review your finances and spending habits with your future spouse. Statistics have proven that finances are one of the top five reasons for divorce.
- Spend time saving and working on your credit. The journey of partnership is hard when you bring nothing to the table. Team work makes the dream work. WORK ON YOU and what you can bring.
- Write down your goals and share them with each other.
- Spend time dating yourself and soul searching. You will spend the rest of your days with your soul mate. Enjoy being able to BE YOU! If you don’t know what you are and whose you are, your future spouse will never know either. So make sure you know.
- Plan a trip with your future love. See how you vibe on the road. This way you are secluded in a space together. I suggest doing this more than once.
- Make a 5-year career plan with your future husband or wife. This will help you both get a clue of what is to come and what each other would like to happen.
- Talk about a plan for children if you both intend to be parents. This is very important.
- Talk about household duties. Discuss who will be responsible for what chores. Make clear ground rules about things that you feel you can and can’t do. For instance, My husband knows that I don’t do trash and I hate pumping gas. So he doesn’t expect me to ask … For example: I can say babe the trash is full and he is on it or honey I don’t have enough gas for work tomorrow.
- Talk about expectations of marriage and boundaries. Discuss deal breakers. Know what each other wants and expects.
- Talk about death and funeral plans.
- Spend time with the each other’s families and close friends. Get to know if he/she plans to take care of their mother and/or father when they are unable to do for themselves. If that’s your plan, find out if that is ok with your partner.
- Talk about borrowing and/or loaning money to family and friends. Once again this is a part of FINANCES. It can be a big issue when your money becomes OUR money.
- Start a savings plan and discuss how it will work. You may feel those shoes being on sale means you can play in your savings account. Your spouse may not… Discuss in detail about what the savings is for.
- Get health examinations together. Discuss results and question any concerns.
- Talk about sex. Get specific about what your partner likes and dislikes.
- Discuss moving and relocation.
- Discuss your religious beliefs and how you plan to raise your children morally.
- Establish a plan for when times get rough. Unfortunately, marriage will have ups and downs. My spouse and I agreed on putting people we both trust in a jar. We start with the first name we pick and let them counsel and/or assist us in whatever we can’t seem to fix.
If you have any tips that helped you prepare for wife hood, please share them below.